Sep 2013
I heard from you that it takes 21 days to form a habit.
It's been 3 days of falling asleep sad,
18 days of acknowledging all you did was say my name in vain to anyone that would listen,
25 days of not speaking to you,
67 days of not seeing you in person,
118 days since you told me I was ******,
121 days since I told you to leave me alone,
125 since you stayed the night at my house and talked to me until 3 am,
168 since we said good bye and I somehow just got out of the car and left,
169 since you last said you loved me.
They also say it takes twice as long as the duration of your relationship with someone to forget about them, to move on.
My dear, I'm not prepared to spend the next 3,650 days trying to forget how you'd laugh, or forget the mole on the bottom of your foot, or forget how you'd kiss at my scars and see past them and still had the audacity to tell me I was pretty and worthy of love. Every day those memories drop from my consciousness into a puddle that wells in the bottom of my heart, and I fear someday it'll overflow.
These days continue to pass, as do my memories of you and all that we shared. The days pass just like your feelings did for me and I wish you'd teach me your ways because you took days to let go and I've taken too many days holding onto someone who, one day, decided I wasn't even worthy of respect. And that was the day I decided to not ever go back. It was also the day I cried on my kitchen floor because the day came and went, just like you did, just like we hoped we never would.
It's been 3 days of falling asleep sad,
18 days of acknowledging all you did was say my name in vain to anyone that would listen,
25 days of not speaking to you,
67 days of not seeing you in person,
118 days since you told me I was ******,
121 days since I told you to leave me alone,
125 since you stayed the night at my house and talked to me until 3 am,
168 since we said good bye and I somehow just got out of the car and left,
169 since you last said you loved me.
They also say it takes twice as long as the duration of your relationship with someone to forget about them, to move on.
My dear, I'm not prepared to spend the next 3,650 days trying to forget how you'd laugh, or forget the mole on the bottom of your foot, or forget how you'd kiss at my scars and see past them and still had the audacity to tell me I was pretty and worthy of love. Every day those memories drop from my consciousness into a puddle that wells in the bottom of my heart, and I fear someday it'll overflow.
These days continue to pass, as do my memories of you and all that we shared. The days pass just like your feelings did for me and I wish you'd teach me your ways because you took days to let go and I've taken too many days holding onto someone who, one day, decided I wasn't even worthy of respect. And that was the day I decided to not ever go back. It was also the day I cried on my kitchen floor because the day came and went, just like you did, just like we hoped we never would.
I miss who he was more than anything else, and though I can't say I'd ever go back, you just don't forget about someone you cared so much about for 5 years. Feelings like those don't vanish as fast as we'd like them to sometimes. I'm happily seeing someone else and he's perfect in every way, though I'll always care about who I wrote this about. 5 crazy years will do that to a person, never let them stop caring.
