Jun 2022
This is not a poem.
But this morning, when my psychologist asked me, "what do you see yourself in upcoming years, with a family of your own? what is a family to you?"
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
I see myself ...
...with the love of my life, coming home from the hospital after giving birth to our healthy and happy eldest. Flash forward.
...witnessing the love of my life teaching our children to ride a bike. A joy squealing comes from theirs. Flash forward.
...recording their first big moments: first walk, first word, first book. Flash forward.
...holding our eldest on the first day of school. She/he'd be scared but they know that I'll pick them up after school for an ice cream session. Flash forward.
...having dinner in the warm dining room with the love of my life, and our 2 children. We had just come home from a long tiring day, and the four of us were telling each other about our day. After our children passed out, we both drank red wine and slowly danced a little more. Flash forward.
...doing our Sunday family tradition: it would be eating out for lunch, inviting our extended family for a dine-in, or going to a bookstore. Or simply a lazy Sunday morning when we snuggled in bed.
...sitting with them when they have their first heartbreak. Ears were open, and arms were hugged. Not judgment. Flash forward.
...
...
...
pictures come in flashes until I see myself snuggled in an armchair with the love of my life with grey hair, passing hot chocolates to my grandkids. Watching the sunrise with my kids and their spouses and their beautiful healthy children.
I want to witness every big and small moment of my loved ones, to be part of their growth, to be present, and also sit in silence with them, to be their safe haven when things go wrong and heavy. I want to celebrate every victory, big or small, or even baby steps. So I guess a family to me is a safe space to grow, to rest my bones, to be for one another, to create this tiny little tradition that my children will carry on their sleeves until they grow up. I want to witness their growth and dreams in every aspect, whether it would make them black and blue, but they know exactly they have their parents by heart. To provide them with warm embraces and warm foods they would miss when they're longing for home. I want my children to know that they are not difficult to love when this world gets hard.
I guess so far, that's a family to me.
But this morning, when my psychologist asked me, "what do you see yourself in upcoming years, with a family of your own? what is a family to you?"
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
I see myself ...
...with the love of my life, coming home from the hospital after giving birth to our healthy and happy eldest. Flash forward.
...witnessing the love of my life teaching our children to ride a bike. A joy squealing comes from theirs. Flash forward.
...recording their first big moments: first walk, first word, first book. Flash forward.
...holding our eldest on the first day of school. She/he'd be scared but they know that I'll pick them up after school for an ice cream session. Flash forward.
...having dinner in the warm dining room with the love of my life, and our 2 children. We had just come home from a long tiring day, and the four of us were telling each other about our day. After our children passed out, we both drank red wine and slowly danced a little more. Flash forward.
...doing our Sunday family tradition: it would be eating out for lunch, inviting our extended family for a dine-in, or going to a bookstore. Or simply a lazy Sunday morning when we snuggled in bed.
...sitting with them when they have their first heartbreak. Ears were open, and arms were hugged. Not judgment. Flash forward.
...
...
...
pictures come in flashes until I see myself snuggled in an armchair with the love of my life with grey hair, passing hot chocolates to my grandkids. Watching the sunrise with my kids and their spouses and their beautiful healthy children.
I want to witness every big and small moment of my loved ones, to be part of their growth, to be present, and also sit in silence with them, to be their safe haven when things go wrong and heavy. I want to celebrate every victory, big or small, or even baby steps. So I guess a family to me is a safe space to grow, to rest my bones, to be for one another, to create this tiny little tradition that my children will carry on their sleeves until they grow up. I want to witness their growth and dreams in every aspect, whether it would make them black and blue, but they know exactly they have their parents by heart. To provide them with warm embraces and warm foods they would miss when they're longing for home. I want my children to know that they are not difficult to love when this world gets hard.
I guess so far, that's a family to me.
Sunday, June 5th 2022
