I love to drink
Because it gets me
away
from my baseline.
The fact that I hate life,
existence.
Day
by day
by mediocre
day.
Is it better
closer
or farther away?
From the people with smiling faces,
conversations,
fully masked and exhausting.
What's the difference?
There is no revelation
being sober.
Just the same minute ticking
over and over.
I am so unimportant
and I don't know how
to stop the constant drowning.

Always writing about choking
and wishing to fly free;
where does it get me?
Chained to the same
sinking tree.
Trying to find
beauty
or ease
in the days that never cease,
the veins refuse to bleed
for me.
Who cares?
Nobody is a savior.
No flavor there to savor.

I want to be numb.