I had been waiting
For you to be different
For my whole life
You were all I had wanted
What happens to you
When you find yourself
Living an answered prayer
But still missing something
I tapped my fingers on tabletops
Sang ballads in the shower
I had no idea what it was
That made us incomplete
It wasn't always just so
There were so many times
I felt so full I could burst
And love would leak from within
But when I lacked, it was dark
I felt dry, like a locked empty home
I folded in to myself, origami swan
Creased and dog eared, not the first time
I loved the idea of life you told me
We could have had together
Did everything I could to help you
Get us there eventually
But I realized that eventually
You would still drown out
My little, little voice
Among the noise of your speakers
No matter how much money
You made, it would be the same
Chasing something that would
Never be enough in the end
I was waiting for you
To love and prioritize me
To see me for exactly who I was
Instead of who you had wished I would be
Someone who always loved you
Put you first and cherished your quirks
Who would have stayed but saw
That you would never change
You find no fault
In what you have done
It is me to blame
For not accepting partial love
I found out that what was
Missing all along was you
Truly respecting and cherishing me
As freely as I did it for you
So instead of waiting
For you to change, I did
“Mom, I am a rich man”
I changed into the partner I needed
Someone who cherishes me
Someone who protects me
Someone who puts me first
Someone who isn't afraid to be close to me