i have a c+ in chemistry
i have a basic style
i am so far from prodigy
it takes me 10 minutes to run a mile
    
             failure
but why do i desire to be more than one?
    
                             i still think college is an
                             option
   community
college is the best i’ll ever be

                                my friend said that i don’t
                     wanna be trailer trash
                  
    well, i don’t let my worth be defined by grades
  never
                     -no way

it hurts
my pain is immense
i am weird
i am failing
i am a failure
    
                                     and people have the
                                                     guts to say
                                   ahem, no you’re not

you aren’t a mistake or a blank part of a page
  
  
            oh, honey
            trust me
                            I have tried a million times to    
                          
                            BELONG

but ever since my best friend left
    every place i’ve been is
                                                  lOpSidEd
     ­                                             uPPsiDe-doNwnn
  
               i pray to God every night
        and things change
                He helps me through the car crashes
     the beatings
-the emotion

                             i swear,
                                             i owe Him
        i should have redid the lab i already did
    
      ***** you chemistry!
      you’re disgusting!

                           you’ve got me resorting to
                                 yelling at classes
                            and grades i can’t help

a problem

and they are taking ap chemistry
    and they are smart
and might get accepted into harvard
       and they will have wives who bake
  blueberry pie
and five kids in a red minivan
       like my mom and dad
  
                                    failure
          

  ­              i have to go outside
            to tan, to feel like i’m alive
                to try to determine the rest of my life
           at fifteen years old
        
                                              i don’t even trust myself with my chem grades
  
             let alone the whole rest of my life
  
                                                               if only
        we weren’t defined by the grades we get

but society says
  
                        
                                try me, little girl