he walks with girls at his sides, and when i wave they do not notice
my friends will not make eye contact with me in the halls
i am complimented today, but i do not know it's for me
i've gotten used to blending into the background, and i am not used to being beautiful
because the eyes i want to catch swim away before they are hooked
and they do not want to sit with me at lunch despite how loud i laugh at their jokes
maybe if i were more beautiful more often
maybe if i didn't try as hard
or i tried harder
but then i remember that he didn't come to school on my birthday last year
and he doesn't care about that now
and i realize
that maybe you can try in all the ways there are
and it will never make a difference