i'm here. in the rain. in the cold. walking. my shoes are soaked. my jacket is a darker shade blue. my eyes hurt. i don't know if its the tears or the torrent. my back has shattered from carrying my heart. the water is deep and i'm starting to slow in my pace. wondering why you turned away from me, you went back to the shelter of your lonesome heart. you told me i couldn't come. so i trudge on. searching for the thing that gives me peace. it wasn't love. i thought it was, but love is fragile. it dies. like us. so i go on. without you. my inspiration. what else could i do? a man of my means is not fit for the world we live in. not the place where things don't make sense. where logic is cast to the wind, thrown away, expected to fend for itself.

how am i expected to make it out this alive? unaltered and without injury. did you ever think about that? i think not.

the light is gone and my body is cold and wet so maybe its time for me to give in to temptation and embrace the earth. kiss her rocky surface and allow her to absorb me, take me in because at least i know that she would never abandon me.