you hate me cause i don’t put my lips to yours in the dim light
i hate eye contact, low cut
dresses,
myself,
love and its victims, how nobody listens
amber heard, how her lawyer’s bad with words
i love vintage looking movies, love running,
despise losing
i love staying at home, i love being alone,
not running around acting like a dumb blond
i’m sick of stereotypes, reckless nights, crying in cabs,
drinking my life away
i hate the poltergeist, how he tries to be nice,
just call me ugly and slap me across my face
begging’s fine sometimes, if you’re right,
or if you wanna be immature (4 once)
i want to overdose, get super close to a boy who’s an easy choice
i want to be with someone
i want to kiss at night, but not have to fight,
or prove myself using my body
so if you wanna be like that, go ahead, but i’ll probably hit you in the head
try to be yourself not anyone else
and you’re not a martyr, you murderer,
quit trying
to
convince everyone that you’ve been scrutinized
when i’m gonna be told to lose my clothes and i’m just gonna have to laugh it off
when in all seriousness, i’m exhausted of this business
quick kiss and wish lists
and ‘get rid of her by the afternoon’
but if i could hold you or even get you, i wouldn’t be that true
i’d do anything to be yours
oh, i’m sick of this
remember it
i hate long awkward pauses and
all this applause
and
being passive-aggressive
maybe i hate to commit, i haven’t even been in a relationship
so keep your blue eyes away from mine, you won’t charm me this time
besides, you aren’t even real
i won’t beat myself up because you wanna love
me in a different light or with none at all
half of this doesn’t even concern you
you don’t even have empathy, huh, would you?
why would you care what i like?
when your hands aren’t still, they’re in for the ****, just drown me in this hazy white world
cause God knows i’m trying and i can’t help lying
beside you and to everyone i know
so
give me a second
you aren’t just heaven
slow your pulse
i’m not gonna give in
it’s ok to not
invade my privacy
don’t get on those carpet-burned knees
accept my offer or leave
besides, i am ugly-
don’t dim the lights
it’s 12:30 at night
and everyone’s on the balcony
so this is it for today
i will finally walk away
watch my ribs crack and me grabbing my neck
at least i came out alive
so if you wanna hate me for not putting my lips to yours
go ahead, be immature
i can just close the door
unless you want me to stay and be the greatest company
you’ve ever had
without going to bed-
that’s it, i’m leaving now
just something to think about
if you really want me-
heck, i don’t even want me