beside you
breathing you in
watching you from under curtains;
curtains of feathery black.

cologne and heat and dryer sheets,
a scent more like home than my home,
your lips quirk
and your eyes widen
and my heart
skips.

you speak
and i am lost
in your voice,
in the melody that you sing.
you shine; i fade.

you pause, and now
i have observed quietly for too long.
my eyes drop back to
the bitten nubs of my fingernails,
and you continue speaking.

i pull every word from your lips,
twist them,
tuck them into my brain
for another time
when i can imagine the sweet things you could
say.

but these words,
they are not meant for me
my mind wanders,
and my heart misses some beats
one,
two,
and i find myself helpless
watching you, just out of sigh
so close yet so terribly far
unattainable.

i am gasping for air when
you smile -
sudden and fleeting -
my heart skips, once more
then
nothing.

i lock the words away again,
the ones hanging precariously
at the tip
of my tongue
as some things are better left
unsaid.