I.
I lodged my soul
Into the tube of lipstick
I left at your house
Hidden beneath
The jeans and white blouse
I casually drowned
In careful disarray,
And I’ll silently pray
That you find it nestled
Next to the dusty chest
Of old love letters you’ve compiled
From people not me–
I’ll lay on your lips
To your ignorant bliss
Long after I’m gone
And we’ll have moved on
And you’ll smile at the
Luck you had at finding the perfect match
To your skin tone:
Red as sin
Against white like bone.
You’ll taste me as fast as you’ll forget me.
II.
I pressed my lips
Against your sweater
And murmured thoughts and
Recited letters
I’ve written in secret
And I whispered my heart
Into the stitches and seams
Until the fabric marked
Everything I felt but couldn’t say.
When mere words got in the way.
And I inhaled
The cigarette smoke
Til it made me choke
Like the night we stayed up
And star gazed and talked
And you apologized when
I sputtered and coughed –
But you should know, and I’ll tell you
Through my inconsistencies, I do
Not care if your lungs are permanently filled
With toxic fumes that seal your doom –
Poison is how I remember you.
But I’m not sure how you’ll remember me.
III.
I stayed up late, long after you fell
Asleep, and your chest rhythmically swelled
And collapsed with your breathing.
I watched you like a lover is wont
To do, like the stories I read
Told me to do,
Pressed between pages
Highlighted and dog-eared
Like an anxious student’s textbook.
I slipped out of bed
With your letters and your sweater
And I padded to the window
To read them even better
And I remembered that night
You joked about love
And forever, when you said pointedly:
‘My love is only as eternal as me’.
I pressed my lips
To your faded logo sweater
The one you’ll someday wear
When you meet someone better
And I whispered those
Three little words
But not exactly the three
That I really mean:
‘Don’t forget me’.
I wonder how long it took you to realize I was gone.
IV.
My love is only
As eternal as
Me.