When people ask me "How are you?"
To most I'd just say "I'm fine".
An automatic response like I'm a robot.

And to the some I'd say
"I'm still alive, thanks for checking up on me"

"Unfortunately alive" if I'm not in the mood and

"The prodigal son returns" when It's a long time no see.

They'd laugh. They know I'm not one with usual response. Not really the "Good morning" or "Good whatever" person. I'd rather get to the point of actual conversation skipping the usuals.

When people see me they'd fill me with adjectives and all I do is flash a smile and ignore. I'm not good at compliments. But to some I'd grin, smirk even and tell the ugly parts besides what's seen.

I'd tell how
"Extra inches would make me stand tall"
or how "Inches off my waist would make me embrace myself more".
I would tell how I don't use "Concealer to conceal my scars"
or even "Bronzer to highlight my features".
I tell them how "I'm okay with no beauty parlour"
or how "My eyebrows, hair looks".

Somedays I walk a "STAR" and somedays "HOMELESS". It doesn't matter to impress.

Some would tell
"You're already beautiful without any"

while some would tell
"Why the insecurities? Just embrace yourself"

and some
"I wish you loved yourself enough to know your worth".

I'd like to tell them the truth but never mind I'd nod and shrug.

I'm odd. Always been. I never fit in the crowd.
I'm not an introvert. I lie between the lines.

I mostly have a stern face and cold stare that I could chase anyone across a mile from approaching or so I've been told.

I've been given other adjectives too, apart from looks. Looks can be deceiving. I was always judged having an innocent face, they'd say
"You're not the one to endure worse in life."

I'd like to tell
"LIFE ***** ALL" but then I'd simply smile, make them believe I agree.

I have a tendency to laugh at myself. I'm good at that. Since I was a child I've been called names and they don't offend me at all.

I'm more of "What-ifs, Buts" than "Ands".
They say "You're such a pessimist".
I'd like to tell "I'm realistic" but I've come to accept not all are "ME" and it's okay to let them live in their bubble of perception. I've known the difference between fitting in and standing out and it doesn't matter to me what others think. Society never pleased me anyways.

It's not that
"I don't know my self worth or not love myself enough" that I let others make me fall.
I know when to hold on and when to let go.
"I'm a slave for love.

In love, pain and happiness go hand in hand. But if it's only pain then it's about time you question yourself, why?"

Respect to some has been wiped off from their dictionary but to me it stands first. I'm a mess like the rest but I don't linger on the brokenness.

Appreciating beauty comes naturally to anyone but"What's self love if I can't love the ugly parts of me?"
And "What's your love if you can't understand me to appreciate enough?"
I'd say you don't know me at all.

So, when I talk to you about how damaged I am it's just a test to know your threshold over mine.

I adore the "IMPERFECT ME" to the extent that I don't get offended when people try to bring me down.

And that my friend is how "I ******* LOVE MYSELF."