you loved me with your fingers crossed
your breath held and your eyes closed
ignored my declarations of love,
hung them on your walls like they were prized medals you had won.
shined them meticulously, pretended the words meant nothing.
shied away from my touch, lied straight to my face
crossed your heart and hoped to die,
darling I watched you try.
said you'd be mine always,
did always mean never?
I took your silences and read too far deep into them
made them into phrases you would never say
hoped it would change one day.
I loved you without care
I believed in you and your lies
I never wanted to watch us die.
you watched me as I walked away
breathing heavily and eyes clear
screaming all the words I so desperately wanted to hear
after seeing so much death, a whispered I love you wasn't enough.
I left with nothing but the echoes of your empty silence and the scars they left.