Your grandad
was a literal ******,
and your gran stole flowers
from graves.
Your mother's red lipstick
was drawn near her nose,
and she didn't know how
to behave.
Your family ate dinner
whilst watching TV,
and your mother would
squawk like a hen,
when her son would switch
over from the results of Big
Brother to catch up with
the News at Ten.
'Gay and mad eh?
Here's a TV tray,
and I'll smack you if I see a tear.'
I love that your mother
helped me discover
Reality TV and beer.