i feel so guilty when i hold you to your word. ( you said you'd be here! ) but today i kissed the grave of my past and wept for the girl i was as you caught up on much needed rest -- but why did you stay up so late the day before you promised to stay? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . i don't need you to cherish me every day, i promise! i promise, i promise, i promise! but today ... would have been easier with you, here. your laugh, a pleasant distraction from reality. your voice, a pleasant distraction from myself. oh well, there's always next year. i hold myself a little tighter.