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Apr 2022
maybe i should’ve listened
i’m overwhelmed on a sunny day, my organs are in the wrong spots, and miscommunication is somehow benefitting us

the words are in the walls of my throat, your tongue could reach them so easily (why are you making any excuses?)
“celebrate with me, put your hands on me, be jealous of me”
don't you wonder what it'd feel like to have my skin rub against yours again?

change your expectations of me, be ignorant of your sore limbs, be naïve and keen
things could be better, take the hint and be with me

i’m making a mistake valuing you more than a dime
are you holding on for me or for you? stupid question
i don’t think you want me to come around again, i won’t knock on your door, i need more barriers anyway

in a different timeline,
our capsule is buried, we don’t progress further. we’d stay like that until someone got a shovel
i’d call you before you slept even if i’m about to miss sunrise
my blue jumper would be resting in the same spot that your sweater is lying on my chair
my laugh echoes and dances with yours on the highway
your fingers fit comfortably between mine

it was nice living mundanely, too bad we figured each other out, it's no longer fun anymore
for what it’s worth, you made it worse

everything was fitting together, except us (you were the good in the bad)
now, currency has no value
i’m expensive to you, so you choose to settle for temporary happiness instead (pitiful, caring for me shouldn’t be costly)

the wind took my sickness to another heart, i didn’t know which way to go
i hope it bothers you more that you’re no longer him, do you even feel satisfied in other ways?

what even is ownership?
when i used to belong to you but now i’m by his side?
where do i buy the title to keep this distance between us?

such a dream, does everyone feel this enlightened when they surpass loss? i wish time stayed a myth
used to be indecisive, now i won’t hesitate to say his name (don’t fly out, the stickers are still here)
3/12 completed for my new year's resolution. sadly could not post it on the first :,(
emily
Written by
emily  20/F
(20/F)   
129
   Marie
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