i didn’t mean to hit it
it was just so red and so right there
my fingers itched to feel the crimson face
so then
without knowing what it meant
i touched it

“sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior”
no me

everything swirling and spinning
i don’t know where i am
someone please
i just need
it all
to
stop
.

chills, cold flashes
i can smile but i don’t know if it’s convincing
i just want to fix it
undo it
i didn’t mean to press it
i didn’t know
i didn’t

i think I’m drowning but I’m fine? everything feels bad but i’m still standing? i think I’m angry but is that even possible? so then I just feel bad
why does everything have to be confused
i just want to start over please