In Heaven, they spell your name correctly.

In Heaven, you have your own parking space.

In Heaven, you don't need a spam filter on your computer.

In Heaven, there are no sprained ankles or torn ACLs.

In Heaven, they play Tori Amos songs.

In Heaven, you neither sweat nor bleed.

In Heaven, there are no concussions.

In Heaven, there are no flat tires.

In Heaven, there is no male pattern baldness.

In Heaven, *** is optional and always consensual.

In Heaven, crutches, walkers and wheelchairs are superfluous.

In Heaven, meat is grown in a lab.

In Heaven, there are no guns.

In Heaven, the mailmen are friendly.

In Heaven, there are no brass knuckles.

In Heaven, the dogs do not bite.

In Heaven, the pharmacy is always open.

In Heaven, there are no hangovers.

In Heaven an afternoon nap is de rigueur.

In Heaven, we're all BFF.