All* this time,
Months and *months,
getting over you,
forgetting all I knew,

But then you came back,
I didn't know who you were at first,
a man in the distance staring at me,
and then I wave, and see, and know-

It's you.

I gasp for air but no air comes,
my heart doesnt beat it just feels empty.
I feel like the world has ****** out all of my life,
just an empty carcass, a structure without a soul.

It's not fair anymore- i think,
my heart cries but my brain stops it showing,
I ask why you're here and you say you just came by,

BUT WHY?

why do that?
at the end of the year,
after months of no contact-

just show up like everything is fine.

But thats you though,
You use your arrogance and smile against me,

My guards are up at first but slowly i relax,
pretend it's all ok,
that you're not going to leave,
that I'm the innocent little teenager that fell for you.

And my guards fall down,
I let myself be me,
I flirt and you flirt back,

I thought that it would be ok,

But it isn't

As soon as I let myself go it's time to leave,
time to say goodbye,
time to act like nothing happened.
Pretend I hate you in front of my mother,
When in fact I'm still drawn to you,
I still dream and I still love you,

I just can't help it.

And then you walk away,
not even saying goodbye.

Thats the third time now,
the third time I love you and you leave,

and I cry,
But don't let my feelings show to anyone.

Except my ipod and the tear stains on my book.

I love you.

I'll never forget you.

I want you to say you love me,

But I know it will never work.

I know you won't be with me,

I know I'll always be empty.

Waiting,

*Just waiting.....