All this time,
Months and months,
getting over you,
forgetting all I knew,
But then you came back,
I didn't know who you were at first,
a man in the distance staring at me,
and then I wave, and see, and know-
It's you.
I gasp for air but no air comes,
my heart doesnt beat it just feels empty.
I feel like *the world has ****** out all of my life*,
just an empty carcass, a structure without a soul.
It's not fair anymore- i think,
my heart cries but my brain stops it showing,
I ask why you're here and you say you just came by,
BUT WHY?
why do that?
at the end of the year,
after months of no contact-
just show up like everything is fine.
But thats you though,
You use your arrogance and smile against me,
My guards are up at first but slowly i relax,
pretend it's all ok,
that you're not going to leave,
that I'm the innocent little teenager that fell for you.
And my guards fall down,
I let myself be me,
I flirt and you flirt back,
I thought that it would be ok,
But it isn't
As soon as I let myself go it's time to leave,
time to say goodbye,
time to act like nothing happened.
Pretend I hate you in front of my mother,
When in fact I'm still drawn to you,
I still dream and I still love you,
I just can't help it.
And then you walk away,
not even saying goodbye.
Thats the third time now,
the third time I love you and you leave,
and I cry,
But don't let my feelings show to anyone.
Except my ipod and the tear stains on my book.
I love you.
I'll never forget you.
I want you to say you love me,
But I know it will never work.
I know you won't be with me,
I know I'll always be empty.
Waiting,
Just waiting.....