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25/02/2022

I read my old written works I don't know why;
as I'm reading some of it waterworks also in my eye;


26/02/2022 5:22 am

I'll try to write a little more before I go to sleep;
Cause I know at times I forget, promises I can't keep;
On the deep dark I go back and forth;
and made me think is it really worth it;

but the beautiful side of it that I see;
I realize there are people still helping me;
despite how many times I failed them;
doing my selfish ways over and again;

When I'm so foolish that I can't see;
and making everyone my enemy;
when I act like that please just ignore me;
It's just my stupidity as you can see;

You don't have or have a clue;
but at times many times I see God in you;
especially at moments I am lost and me you find;
you still accept me carry me, guide me, truly for me you are kind.

I blind myself that's why I can't see clearly;
I'll continue later on, writing this, seem to be like a diary;
I'll now try to get some good well rest;
Cause later on temptations come I'll be on the test.

26/02/2022 11:23 am

I did not get enough rest a deep long sleep:
but for me and mom ate our breakfast;
then as I watch the current news it almost makes me weep;
but I hold back my tears so fast how long will these horrors last;

I thought I already become so numb no more emotion;
to the one who hears, let us have peace whatever is your intention;
for what is happening globally just brings tears to my eye;
I don't want to cry but it just happen I don't know why;

Seeing families separated from each other;
now little I realize to cherish my mom more when we are together;
wife, young sons, daughter, children say see you later;
A father, a  brother will go to war hope things will still be better;

to whom it may concern whatever is your intention does it really matter;
to dance in this senseless war and slaughter a brother, a father;
a fellow human being, I thought I'm the only one blind here not seeing;
If this is the music of war we are hearing I hope no one is singing;

I may not know you and where you're coming from;
and what you have experienced and what will you become;
please if you have the voice the power, the authority;
for the good of all humanity please just end this savagery;

I know it is hard to stop things we usually do;
but in the end, we just regret it before we knew;
I knew this by experience even myself I abuse;
but in the end, it haunted me as I see what I have lose;

though things were so dark we still got a chance, a time to talk;
the dance will be smooth like in the park we just walk;
If a tyrant becomes a saint surely in this world he/she will leave a mark;
I believe there is still goodness in everyone even if all see them so dark;

Even how savage it is a man has done;
Or whatever he has become,
deep within my heart, I know the Almighty good Lord can still forgive,
seeing myself despite my lapses I still breathe and live;

For now, I'll just write until here and hope there will be no more fear;
I need time to rest and reflect to see things more clear;
to the one who reads this I hope your heart can hear;
each and everyone in this world has someone in their heart so close so near;

26/02/2022  2:55 pm

I and mom already finished our lunch together earlier;
dear oh Lord please heal my mom for today this is my prayer;
temptations truly come, I rattle, I need to face my own battles;
I need your strength oh! God for without You I'm a sheep a lost cattle;

It seems everything I do seems not enough;
deep inside I'm hurting but outside I just act tough;
When I try to laugh actually inside my heart I cry;
there is something missing I know not why;

Tomorrow is Sunday know not if I'll go to church and pray;
just guide me oh! Lord every step of the way day by day;
cause if I'll do my selfish ways I'll be lost again;
like a chick without his/her mother a loving hen, a writer without a pen.


26/02/2022  7:46 pm

Just a little while just now my mom spoke to me her last will;
why utter such words I believe in the Lord can heal, you could live still;
Lord my God almighty One to me many You have given;
I have no right to argue if what I cherish will be taken;

If this is a test for You oh! Lord, I still remain;
I'll do everything I can even to endure this pain;
I can only blame myself not You oh! Lord my God;
You already showered me your blessings and your bottomless love;

No time now to grumble;
I know Lord You let things happen and things I can handle
before the light of the candle fades out;
Now, Lord, I believe in You no more doubts;

27/02/2022 5:26 pm

I'm now getting ready I'll go to church and will see what will happen;
oh! Lord, I hope our relationship will be deepened;
thank you for the earlier morning you brought people in this humble home;
It helped me do some tasks for today now I know I'm not alone;

I'm really a blind sheep without you my God;
Please shower me more with your everlasting Love;
I miss the overflowing grace you shower and give;
teach me once more Your ways for the remaining days I live;

27/02/2022 7:31 pm

Now back from church, I was late already in the middle of it;
did not hear the priest's sermon but the songs of the choir really hit
me hard; it penetrated my heart, it really hit me hard;
especially that song that we need to help and feed those who starved;

Every time the choir starts to sing it makes me start to weep;
but I firmly hold back my falling tears,
does this mean our relationship oh! Lord will go deep;
Only with Your guidance oh! Lord, I leave all my fears;

Forgive me oh! Lord, I'm so emotional easy to cry;
but also forgive me if sometimes my eyes run dry;
I only experience shed never-ending tears twice;
It was with You oh! Lord and that someone who sings so nice;

Tears weeping that even I wash my face and wipe it out;
It still showers and rains so hard never it drought;
For you oh! Lord inside my heart I shout for joy and cry;
But I also experience it to someone near to my heart I know not why;

For today oh! Lord the day is done and night appears;
hope when the sun rises up the violence of wars disappears;
whatever is your wisdom and will oh! Lord, I will not question it;
whatever happens good or bad I promise and try I will not quit;

You oh! Lord has already given me so much good things;
now whatever life will give me I'll take it anything it brings;
may it be storm or sunshine, a cloudy day or a rainbow;
may it be as hot as the desert or as cold as snow;

for I am lowly and in your presence nothing I have known;
but with your unfathomable wisdom slowly I have grown;
teach me Your ways oh! Lord guide these feet of mine;
for I know in your presence oh! Lord everything will be fine;

I'm not worthy to receive you Oh! Lord, please help my soul be healed;
I beg you dwell upon me let my body set your Spirit to be filled;
make me oh! Lord Your living holy temple for you I beg and call;
for without your presence oh! Lord, I know once again I'll fall;

Like that time you showered me with Your overflowing grace;
I would never forget that time until the end of days;
That time I was so ecstatic I want to shout and cry;
that time everything I see makes me so happy I know not the reason why;

Thank you Oh! Lord for my mom still lives here with me;
thank you for giving me a family now slowly I can see;
how great is Your love oh! Lord that I can't fully understand;
just guide me in every step I take whatever is your master plan so grand.

Once again oh! Lord my God can I call you my Father;
and let all the people on this world be my sister or my brother;
I wast lost so many times but forgiveness you have give;
I know that it is true cause until now  I still breathe and live;

For now oh! Lord, I'll just write until here it's near the end of the month;
for the coming days oh! Lord help me guide me Love is what we'll plant;
I know I'm weak and is always lost that's why I need you, my Father;
I pray for the better that the world has its peace and everyone will be together;

Please Our Father help us not lose hope;
for with Your guidance everything, we can cope;
We your children are asking for Your help;
I have no shame in asking this for Your love is what I felt;