It was just the five of us sitting there by your pool at 3am. Feet in the water, jeans rolled up to our knees beers in our right hand and each other to our left singing old Tom Petty at the top of our lungs.
There was your best friend who was drunk and singing a goodbye song, long, slurred laments about how you were his brother, like a missing tooth that was pulled to early and left a gap that your tongue runs over 100 times in a day until you realize something's missing. Something's no longer there. And he'll say things like that because that's who he is and he'll go to bed real early because he's sad and tired and you don't know how to feel that much yet.
There was your cousin in the jacket he stole from you two weeks ago when he was sleeping on the ground at a party you dragged him too. He never learned to whisper and can't keep a secret, but he made that night feel like it would last forever and he held your hand through a lot of the bad times in the trailer before your mom got home. He'll laugh something stupid with his eyes squinted and you'll hug him because you can feel he's alive and you want to start living.
There was your weekend warrior who looked real tough and tan and Italian and is afraid of who he is but always knows who you are.
And then there was me. And then there was you.
You were leaving in a couple weeks and none of us really knew how to handle that yet. So we made fun of your baby pictures that were put into your slideshow and ate all your food at 1 and then 2 and then 3. I helped the other boys *** off your railing, took pictures of your glassy-eyed buddies trying to hook and capture the memory.
We were tearing down Wyoming, praying it rained and flooded away so you'd have nowhere to go and you'd have to stay.
This ain't nothing. This ain't nothing but people who love you, washing down their sorrows with a cold glass and a good cheer to the one we see before he leaves.
And then there was me, kissing you when your eyes would close I'll miss you the most.
We slept in your bed alone no clothes, just my body against yours clinging to the time we had before morning. We made love and I mean the real kind of love. Not the high the five of us had lying in your grass pretending we could blow out the stars with a deep "hell yeah!" But the love where you tell me how important I am to you. What I've waiting and dying and trying to hear.
Your hand on my hip, you pulled me aside to let me know you loved me, but just with your eyes. Some dumb, young kids and real good kiss goodbye.