It’s a different pain, rather than an obvious tangible thing
It’s a hopeful longing, longing for something that once was and could never be again
It’s shared traumas
It’s always looking for them in a room
It’s listening out for their voice as they talk in a group of people
It’s short embraces, never staying long enough to really feel the other
It’s knowing each other’s deepest secrets, but too distant to acknowledge it
It’s looking away when you lock eyes because you can’t bear to remember how it felt to communicate with a glance
It’s watching them love someone else
It’s feeling your heart rip out of your chest every time he reaches for her hand
It’s watching that love and putting on a smile
It’s feeling happy for them, hoping they make each other happier than you both could
It’s rage,
confusion,
self-doubt
It’s a constant battle between jealousy and joy
It’s infuriating and intoxicating all in one

It’s loving your best friend