i remember when
i used to feel like
you never cared about what happened to me
and i felt like they'd never understand anyways-

they would say things like
"you don't know what you want"
or
"you're too young to understand",
and i could've gone to war with my arguments
and demands
and i could've waged war with my words for hours
until they caved
and gave me what i was craving-

and today
i find myself thinking
"you don't know what you want"
and
"you're too young to understand",
and i can't help but remember feeling like a hopeless child
with nothing but my reasoning
and anger,
frustrated by everything around me.

i sympathize with the fact that
your dad left and never came back
and
your mom wants to leave too
and
the world seems to be leaving you-
and
i sympathize with the truth that
you can't let them know you're weak
and
you can't just accept defeat
and
that letting things go makes you look badly
like you're afraid,
scared,
and
small-
all i can say is that
one day
you will look back
and realize you had no idea what you were doing
and you can be thankful for the arguments you lost,
and regret the ones you won.