the hardest part was probably when i had to return your toothbrush.
you had bought it months ago, it was probably time to replace it anyways, but bagging it up and placing in that ****** little box felt so different.
it was everything i dreaded. quick, swift, clean. your boxes made it
look like someone was moving, and you were. your drawer was emptied, my doors were closed.
in that moment I sobbed. I was breaking myself down over something so very small, something so seemingly insignificant. I pitied myself until you had the heart enough to pretend to.
but instead, you broke me down into shards sharper than glass, and watched my bleed on the hardwood floor, desperately trying to piece myself back together while you watched. my hands bled, my knees shadowed, bruising deep purples and blacks. you snickered. you loved the way I'd run back, my heart on my sleeve. and you loved to crush me again. without you I am lost, and you know it, too.