Sometimes it doesn't matter who made the mess in your life, what plans the mess ruined and what dreams the mess killed.
It does not matter who dropped the bowl and caused it to break and spill all its contents all over the kitchen floor.
All that matters is the love and relationship remains. The bowl is your life, the break and the spill is the mess that others can sometimes facilitate-make happen easier in your life, the pain that they can cause you.  
All that matters is that in cleaning up the mess, you do it with love.
When the deepest pain is inflicted, clean up the kitchen floor together...in love. No blame, no fault, for it does not matter who dropped the bowl.