only a few days since your birthday passed, the second one I’ve celebrated without you here. it’s strange, uncharted ground for me to navigate without you standing beside me. missing you doesn’t get any easier, but it doesn’t get harder, either. almost like I’ve somehow gathered the strength to stand on my own without feeling like I’ll crumple without help. my daughter has your smile, and her eyes crinkle the same way yours does. I pray that she has the same grace as you, and that her kindness and compassion mirrors yours. I promise she’ll get to know you the same way I did. she makes me want to live, not just survive. the same thing you had begged me to do, when your impending passing threatened to destroy every last piece of will I had in my body. i made it, after two years of rebuilding myself, and not running scared of the strength and solidity I found within. thank you, for igniting that spark, and for all the years I got to learn how to be balanced and kind.