Therapists suggest deep breaths
When those memories come rolling
Into my thoughts like trains
Hitting cement walls-

Destroying it, nothing left
But my deep ******* breaths; they aren't controlling
The fact that my brain
Won't forget those long gone calls.

So I panic, I revert, I concave
Into myself and shake and the
Anxiety encompasses my every fiber
Within my being.

Talking about it doesn't make me brave.
Talking about it makes me accept the shove
Into remembering. I become a diver
Unstilling the waves, no longer am I fleeing.

If I'm remembering, I am losing.
If I am conscious, I am at a loss for peace.
If I am ignoring, I am causing my heart's bruisings-
This is the part of me I control least.