sitting here
surrounded by loved ones
...yet i feel so
alone
and so unloved.

hands trembling.
it's all becoming too much
to bear by myself..

a single tear drop
falls and gently
makes its way down
my cheek...

flickering yellow flame
beside me..
waiting.

i shut my mouth tight
and take a deep breath in...
when i have it in my control
i part my lips
and let out a
long
breath
out...

here i am
spending
hours upon hours
studying
mental health...
and here i am
STRUGGLING
and
s t r u g g l i n g
and
struggling
to
just
breathe
for myself...

who sees?...
who hears?...
who even ******* cares?...

i have screamed
for help...
jumped up and down,
waving my arms in the air...
reaching out for anyone's hand to grab a hold of...
i asked the one
i trusted most for help
and still . . .
no one
seems to hear me . . .

selfishness
its labeled...

am i a hypocrite
for studying
mental health
and
drowning
in my own
mental illnesses?...

i do this because
i know
what the pain feels like...

i do this because
NO ONE
should ever
have to feel this
alone
in fear
and without help...

i will protect you...

i will help you...

i will get through this not only for myself... but for you...


.