UP
my heart                                                
           speeds    
my feet hit
                                    
                                      down
leaving small imprints of me on the ground
running from shadows cast by the moonlight
im sure if i was the ocean  id feel waves undulating inside of me
drifting apart and crashing together
pregnant with a stormy sea
feeling the contractions gather tightly and then dissipate
slowly
if only it were that unconscious an effort to let tension go
naturally,
i want to be a woman with a young happy heart that thinks it will beat forever
i want to be a woman that loves all the small things usually left unnoticed
and taken for granted
like finding a broken seashell that you can hold up to your ear
and still hear the beach
i want to be like the water flowing or sitting still
with all its different temperaments  (mostly sanguine)
i want to be the lotus that struggles upstream, against the current
blooming              along                            the                                                      way...

when i close my eyes i long to see the universe on the backs of my eyelids
i long to dance while im dreaming
but not when im sleeping
but when im feeling more alive than i have ever felt
when i am loving more than i could have ever loved
when i am flying without actually leaving the ground
when i am singing without making a sound
when i seem lost

when i am found.