i remember when i waved “goodbye” to you
on that kindergarten day
and i haven’t seen you since
i wouldn’t know what to say

do you still have that blond hair and those
blue eyes?
those rimmed glasses?
i think you got contacts a while back
and i’m being ballsy
writing your name as the title
eh, you would never see

scribbling the remnants of your memories
onto a piece of paper
so when or if i have dementia
i can remember i was once happy

dedicated to you
in the back of the bus
hating each other
but wanting underneath
i would shave my eyebrows to see you
in public or around town
if you watch my “pretty” face and wonder if
i am the same girl who was always terrified to
speak to you
in first grade
do you feel strange emotions while
watching my face?
not a single thing?

i don’t even know what you look like right now
we should both keep those secrets i guess
who am i now?
who are you?
i am sweating and you are pulsating
i am getting weak and you are freezing

i bet you can’t recall
it was a competition about who got
colder easier
obviously it wasn’t me
how come i am getting hypothermia now
when you still stand out in the negatives with
a tiny tank top on?

curse you for leaving

curse you for not calling

curse you for not missing me
i mean, maybe you are, but i severely doubt it

curse you for never telling me you liked me
come on, we said we hated each other
that’s reverse psychology

curse you for becoming a memory
i always wanted you to be a present thing

and curse you for not saying goodbye like on that kindergarten day

i knew you never cared anyway