she knew by the way he stood
and how words left his mouth
and the slow movement of his eyelids
that she wasn’t seen
she was an outline of a woman
that ticked those stupid boxes
because apparently to be small and blonde is to be beautiful
and to be able to ‘pull off’ short hair was a great achievement
and to have eyes that could be described as green in direct sunlight was another tick.
she was a gentle voice to answer and ask him questions
as he endlessly expands on subjects she doesn’t care about
but she would try to get that smile from him
that makes her feel as though she’s done something right
the smile which connects to the eyes above.
it feels so truthful in that moment
until she steps outside of herself again
and sees that she is being looked at by him, but not seen

she knew by the way she stood
and how words left her mouth
and the movement of her eyelids
that she was being seen
and not just as her outline
she wanted to see behind the eyes
through all the twists and turns in the brain
the electricity of the nerve endings
and the chemicals that flowed when she was talking about something she cared about
she didn’t have to perform
or tick boxes
because they both saw themselves seeing eachother
it wasn’t she and him but she and her