I feel a foreign insecurity
washing over me
comes in waves;
the ground is moving under my feet

I feel off balance
my skin feels wrong;
am I dissociating?
am I just raw?

That girl I was
seems dead and gone
I need a revival
…
but I can’t bear it
it all feels false

I’ll don my silver hoops
and my top knot;
put on my velvet shoes
pretend I’m hot

But it won’t do
this **** I’m used to;
acting ghostly
to hide the black and blue

I’m so ****** divided
between 17 and 43
it left a hole in me
and that’s where I’m tryna be
now

To fill myself up
fill my own needs;
stop thinkin ‘bout you
and think about me

Learn to love me;
learn to lift me;
learn to hold me;
learn to carry me
intentionally

I’ve been strong
and now I’m broken, I guess
that’s what happens
when he’s an adult
and you were a kid