why didn’t i say my own name?
i am so worried that i will be a burden to others
as long as i make noise.
i used to dream of fireworks and causal flirting
but that doesn’t work here.
if i wasn’t so shy, i could be the social butterfly
but i feel my bones start to crack
they crack under my heavy skin.
i wish i could be a shallow skeleton
chat as if i am a plastic doll in an easy world.
i always feel the immense pressure pushing down on me and it hurts and it burns
and i am so sick of this inner turmoil
so sick of an unknown world
beneath my callused feet
i can’t breathe