I'm not here.
Close my eyes and repeat it
Again and again.
I'm not here.
If I was here,
I would be torn
Apart
But I'm not
here.
So no need to worry
About hiding tears
Being swallowed by
Fears
Because I'm not here.
Say it again with me,
I'm not here.

But what happens If
that feeling comes again and
you do
want to be there?
I do
want to be here.
What happens then?
Can I bear it?
my squirming insides
My cut flesh
My beating heart
Beating so fast
So quiet
And loud all at the same time.

Don't you dare tell me I'm getting better