You breathe very heavily
And you're short
And bald.
You tell obscure jokes that no-one laughs at.
You get really, really drunk
And shout along to songs - all the wrong words
deliberately.
You're very annoying.
Right wing
A wind-up merchant
You watch nothing but the news, Top Gear, and old re-runs of Poirot.

It's no good.
I love to listen to you breathe, and sigh
You're just the right height for kissing
And your baldness suits you, suits your perfect smile
I laugh inside, if no-one else does
And am usually drunker, and louder, and urging you to dance.
I love your teasing
And the TV doesn't matter
Because we only have eyes for each other
when together
It's no good.