aches in the old familiar way
that your heart once did
as a child, begging for love
as your mother's side,
to be quietly pushed away.
to have been shut up with
television, pills, food

(to think of your youth
well there's no word
to describe the guilt.
your mere birth was an
act of abuse on humanity,
wasn't it?)

this new ache though
leads to a progression
a growth in shrinkage
a strength in will that
you never thought was real.

this ache takes you
to a secret hidden place
full of the shimmering hope
that you'll feel whole one day.