it's writing about how ****** up i am
that's what i use to avoid actually acknowledging how to get better
writing about how i'd rather be doped up
than go to therapy
when really it's my self-sabotage that got me here
i've been spiraling for a while
just word ***** again and again
but none of it makes enough sense

it's finding someone else to fix it
someone else to talk at midnight
just someone to dump all of my problems on
but this is how i wind up hating myself
how i say that i'm one of the people i never wanted to see myself become
but here i am
trauma dumping on a bunch of strangers on the internet
because i can right?
as long as i hide behind a screen
no one has to see the crusted tears that have accumulated on my face
right?
seems normal enough