There is a small cupboard beside my bed
It is called William.
That was a joke
It s called a bedside cabinet.
It has a brass handle on the drawer
The drawer is central to this poem
Because of what it contains
Without its contents it would merely be a drawer
Now you want to know what the drawer contains don’t you?
No?
Well I shall tell you anyway
Inside the drawer is a metal nail, some toothpicks, some pills
A pair of ear plugs and a small piece of toilet tissue
Or lavatory paper as my mother would prefer to call it.
The paper or tissue doesn’t mind what you call it – it is simply a tissue
It has no mind no feelings
Let‘s not waste our time speculating about the offence caused to a piece of tissue,
Alright paper  
But going back to my point about the contents of the drawer being central to this poem
Why is that so?
I could make it easy for you but why not work it out yourself?
Think about it
A metal nail.
Toothpicks
Pills
Ear plugs
Toilet tissue
Alright, mum
Lavatory paper.
What do these tell you?
ABSOLUTE **** ALL