I want you so bad I can feel my heart shudder and jump in my chest whenever we stand close together. I can still feel the burn on my lips and your tongue on my teeth, but I wonder if it’s already out of your mind, forgotten. People do that to me all the time. Forget me, leave me, and I drive them away. I’ve never figured out what I’ve done exactly, it must be different for each person. Maybe for you, it’s because you see I’m unstable. You see I’m a desperate little girl and you don’t have time for that.
Maybe it’s because you don’t want to save me and I’ll always need saving from sleepless nights and crying binges and the streaks of red I’ve put on my flesh.
Maybe it’s because I’m not good enough for you; the newness has worn off enough for you to realize that I’m not pretty enough, or old enough, or calm enough, or good enough. I’m never good enough. 

But I want you so bad that I would do anything to be good enough for you. I’d starve myself, I’d dye my hair and buy new clothes, I’d stop drinking tea, I’d stop reading thick books, I’d stop worrying and get rid of my wrinkles, I’d start sleeping and get rid of my sleep bruises, I’d change every single detail about myself…

If it meant you would want me too.