Very often I think about what life would be like for us together.
This may shock you as we've been part of each other's for so long.

But I mean this differently.

What if I was in your life because you wanted me there?
What if we were more than something so torturously platonic?
What if I was everything to you for a moment and then you'd know what you meant to me a long time ago?

Sometimes I think that its ridiculous.
That in no way could you and I be more than old friends, a mere passer-by in this journey of life.

Other times, I feel so strongly that I could stand in front of a bullet for you and peacefully die.

Sometimes you smile at me and all my problems dissipate into meaningless cries
Sometimes you look me in my eyes and I wonder how you and I could never be apart.

But now this back and forth makes me realise,
That maybe you don't see me the way I see you.

I put you on pedestals that you never deserved
I put you first and forgot myself from time to time.

But no longer shall this be my blunder
I know now, or perhaps I always knew,
That you and I were perhaps never true.