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Dec 2021
Is it possible to grieve someone you never met?
I smiled for months feeling you two inside me
Thinking this was as good as life could get.

Five months later, the surgeon told us you no longer had a heartbeat.
Following the animalistic sobs, I realized that we'd never get a chance to really meet.

I carried your corpse inside me
until your sister could grow a little more.
The guilt and anger i hold inside me
Makes my heart and soul feel completely torn.

A few weeks later, they handed you to me all bundled up in a blanket. I held you for an hour before they took you away. The silent tears ran down my cheeks and all i did was pray.

Your twin sister, Christine, is doing well.
Sometimes when i look at her, i think of you and cry. It kills me to know you what you would have looked like, and I'm sure you would have given your daddy hell.

I love and miss you, my sweet Catherine.
Lord knows i struggle with faith, but i dream about meeting you in Heaven one day and i can't wait to hold you in my motherly arms again.
It's been a while.... but clearly i write when I'm hurting.
Hannah Wydelle Lovel
Written by
Hannah Wydelle Lovel  25/F/Austin, Texas
(25/F/Austin, Texas)   
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