you make me think of unfulfilled promises
words that were never
spat out
onto the ground where the
HOMELESS lady and her
twelve children lay
in the dusk of the merciful day

you make me think of pennies skipping
and you used to smell of cinnamon
essential oils
that i know do
nothing for any
part of you
i guess that’s just what
your mom wanted

and i miss the future we imagined
together
cause although
it never happened
it feels as if it still weighs on my
heart
the responsibility to keep you alive
not in photography
but in real life

i miss when we hung out
even those times when i said “no”
should have
been
the most confident “yes”

i’ll still see you in fresh
blooming roses
in tennis shoes hanging
and walking on the tiles
in woods
deep woods with snow
lying softly
as if it wants to be gone
in the color white
and the color blue
a royal blue
a dark color of the deepest ocean
i don’t know if i would crack the ice
where you went fishing
i would find the body of yours
and save it

cause i KNOW for
CERTAIN
that you wouldn’t dare pick
me out of the
frozen water
you would leave me there
            
                                               forever