its funny
i thought that maybe i’d grow happier
that the fantasy of death would fade

i thought i was being melodramatic
a silly girl like you said
but here i am aged 21
and i still wish my life was over
i look at my scars and realise
this
this is what i became
not the successful and brave women i longed to be

but a hollowed out ghost tethered to the past
trapped in her sorrowful ways
i would blame myself
but what good would that do

i was a child
i still am