it is not often I have epiphanies,
especially as beautifully rare as this one,
I have a tendency for overthinking,
the words are confined, tight,
yet still they manage to spill onto the page,
and out of my mouth,
I am not sure if this was out of envy for you,
for something I have never found,
and something you seem to find so easily,
or pity for myself,
for never having found it,
if I have one talent,
it is to be able to have such lacking,
when it comes to an emotional connection with other people,
we both know I have never been very good at that, though I am inclined to apologise,
for saying those three words,
without knowing if I meant them,
in some respects I do,
but not romantically,
I used to think it was that,
then you reminded me of what it really was,
it is the fact I do not know why it is so easy for you, so easy for others,
but so hard for me,
to find companionship, another,
a soulmate of some kind,
and that is why I am angry,
but also why I am sorry,
I now know that I was never really in love with you