Four years.
Countless tears.
I miss you more
with every breath I take.
My chest heaves and I
crumble under the burden
of living without you.
How am I supposed to make
it when the only person who
kept me going is gone?

Just like that. Gone.

No heart-wrenching scream
or desperate plea will ever
bring you back.

And I hate myself for that.
I hate myself every
******* day.

The guilt eats me alive
and tears at my will to live.
Regret fills every crack in
my body that formed
since you died.
Grief doesn't even begin
to describe this hollow
feeling that I can never
chase away with any amount
of alcohol or drugs, no matter
how hard I try.
And I try, oh do I try.

I'm sorry I didn't try that night.
I'm sorry praying didn't help.
I'm sorry.