Nov 2021
dear j,
i can't help but notice you walking by.
ever.
though it's only painful now,
you never seem to notice me.
do you feel anything when
you hear someone mention my name?...
patiently waiting for the day i stop waking up only to find myself still asleep in this heart-wrenching fever dream...
early morning walk,
harsh wind pinching my cheeks
until they're as red as roses..
sun concealed behind a blanket of
white and gray clouds..
i look down at my feet
as we make our way home.
my mind, a broken record...
memories of things
yet to happen...
i shouldn't
allow myself to have hope.
i reduce myself to a platonic soul.
something i am not...
"thanks" instead of "thank you"
nothing instead of "good morning" or "goodnight"
"love you" instead of "i love you" in fear that you may feel the "i" is too personal..
i wonder if you are receiving my letters.
you feel so far...
so out of reach...
fading into the sea of faces...
soft distant memories of things we said & did..
brighter...happier...best.
now,
i only allow myself
to do what i must:
be myself.
breathe.
and prepare my heart for the worst...
you saying goodbye.
sincerely,
d
i can't help but notice you walking by.
ever.
though it's only painful now,
you never seem to notice me.
do you feel anything when
you hear someone mention my name?...
patiently waiting for the day i stop waking up only to find myself still asleep in this heart-wrenching fever dream...
early morning walk,
harsh wind pinching my cheeks
until they're as red as roses..
sun concealed behind a blanket of
white and gray clouds..
i look down at my feet
as we make our way home.
my mind, a broken record...
memories of things
yet to happen...
i shouldn't
allow myself to have hope.
i reduce myself to a platonic soul.
something i am not...
"thanks" instead of "thank you"
nothing instead of "good morning" or "goodnight"
"love you" instead of "i love you" in fear that you may feel the "i" is too personal..
i wonder if you are receiving my letters.
you feel so far...
so out of reach...
fading into the sea of faces...
soft distant memories of things we said & did..
brighter...happier...best.
now,
i only allow myself
to do what i must:
be myself.
breathe.
and prepare my heart for the worst...
you saying goodbye.
sincerely,
d
