Nov 2021
dear j,
"i want to feel all that love and emotion...be that attached to the person i'm holding...someday i'll be falling...without caution...but for now i'm only people watching..."
have i really messed this up this badly? . . .
a friend tells me you've moved on already. . .
is this true? . . .
refusing to even consider the mere notion. . .
"what do they even know about him?"
i try to justify..
but what do i know about you? . . .
what do you choose to show me? . . .
what do they even know about me?...
nothing compared to what is.
what even matters now? . . .
what matters to me doesn't seem relevant or significant if you no longer long for me the way i long for you . . .
i want you to know that this is painful.
i sit here waiting for you to say what you really mean...
maybe you just don't want to hurt me. . .
but i assure you that keeping me here not loved is worse
than being honest and leaving me behind..
...wish you would tell me the real reason why...
...wish you would tell me...
...real reason...
...why...
you can't say i didn't tell you to tell me things...
it wouldn't be true.
...bare wrist...
do i get to love you?
do i get to live alongside you?
do i get to press my lips to your neck & feel the warmth of your touch..
do i get to be the only one...
do i get to have you..
..or do i only get to watch you grow and love someone else from the sidelines...
"i want to feel all that love and emoiton...be that attached to the person i'm holding...someday i'll be falling...without caution...but for now i'm only people watching..."
sincerely,
d
"i want to feel all that love and emotion...be that attached to the person i'm holding...someday i'll be falling...without caution...but for now i'm only people watching..."
have i really messed this up this badly? . . .
a friend tells me you've moved on already. . .
is this true? . . .
refusing to even consider the mere notion. . .
"what do they even know about him?"
i try to justify..
but what do i know about you? . . .
what do you choose to show me? . . .
what do they even know about me?...
nothing compared to what is.
what even matters now? . . .
what matters to me doesn't seem relevant or significant if you no longer long for me the way i long for you . . .
i want you to know that this is painful.
i sit here waiting for you to say what you really mean...
maybe you just don't want to hurt me. . .
but i assure you that keeping me here not loved is worse
than being honest and leaving me behind..
...wish you would tell me the real reason why...
...wish you would tell me...
...real reason...
...why...
you can't say i didn't tell you to tell me things...
it wouldn't be true.
...bare wrist...
do i get to love you?
do i get to live alongside you?
do i get to press my lips to your neck & feel the warmth of your touch..
do i get to be the only one...
do i get to have you..
..or do i only get to watch you grow and love someone else from the sidelines...
"i want to feel all that love and emoiton...be that attached to the person i'm holding...someday i'll be falling...without caution...but for now i'm only people watching..."
sincerely,
d
