black night all around me
I laugh a deep and terrible
laugh and then yawn

again,
here I am
alone at 11 pm
with nothing to do
but write and
watch tv
again

interesting how little I care now
achieving so much
and yet taking so little pride in it

I need something to bring it all back
the spark and life in this is gone for
now

I’m angry at it
but I’m not angry

tomorrow I go on vacation

perhaps I will find the fire
there