Why did I want to be older?
Why did I spend the easiest years of my life wishing them away?
Adulthood is only full of beginnings and goodbyes.
Memories that I grieve for.
I don't look at photos and feel nostalgic; I feel grief.
I grieve for that old version of myself, of family and lovers.
Adulthood is depressing.
The west coast taught me the pain of life,
it pushed all of my fears to the surface.
The beautiful west coast; who did I find out there?
I found myself. The real me.
The one who is in a lot of pain.
The one who always has a front on.
I ran to the coast to get away from my pain,
I only came back with more.