Little did he know
How small I wanted to look
Shrinking into the corner and atomizing my existence
Failing to climb the mountain of expectations
Falling with my eyes closed
Shutting my hands over my face
I can’t look him in the eyes because his hands
closed over mine like I had just died
And as I laid in the funeral casket hands flat against my sternum
The lid closed before he saw
I’ll never see him
I don’t want to
How tragic
I’m running a never ending race
Just to break my legs before the finish line
I’m the crumbs beneath his fingers
Only his
I want him to see me but not see me
I still want him
To talk to me
Just not now
Or later
Or ever
I’m too busy licking envelopes with letters
I’ll never send
And that i’ll never want him to read
Or know of
I’m so sorry