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a letter to my abuser

by enidjerztlooper

hello there, a you probably have gotten what you want from me; my flesh, the gore that you seek hidden within me, in this concept that you feel so satisfied with, getting what's arbitrary hello there, a remember, when you used to tell me that the perception of 'being enough' lies on the lips of everyone else but me, especially you? I guess so. hello there, a you probably had the time of your life from your driven authority on me, on how I act, as if I depend on you to breathe. probably, the past is past. but I want your apology. maybe your apology would stop me from shaking every time a good person, a genuine one, wants my body for good reasons. maybe your apology, would help me sleep at night and would offer me rest from running away from the nightmares you have caused. maybe your apology, would stop these thoughts, that hinders me from building myself back up from the scattered pieces, big, visible enough to be reassembled, back to the old me. i need it; your apology maybe it would help me heal maybe it would help me forget maybe it would fill the gap, the void that you caused. please, a I am desperate. I need to sleep. I need to breathe. to trust my body, and somebody. and maybe, just maybe your apology, is enough. even though, it will never be.
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Written by
enidjerztlooper
23 / Agender / BGC, Philippines
For You?
Written by
enidjerztlooper
23 / Agender / BGC, Philippines
Published
Oct 18, 2021
Time
3m
Tags
#abuse
Permission

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